Cheers to the dreamer in you
"I like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful, yet so unaware of it." -The 1975
It's been awhile since we've talked. But with July comes the possibility that soon, things will be different for you. The summer solstice promises a few things to your heart, and one is that the warm light will stay with you. It will wake you gently from sleep, as if someone is standing there whispering to you.
Beneath the sheets, stay as long as you can. Be thankful for this single moment of 'alive'. Be still in the quiet and absorb those long breaths in. The quiet is part of your nature.
It will linger with you as you pace in front of the coffee pot with bare feet. It will move along the smooth wood floors and follow you up the stairs. Summer sings a gentle song over you. The rains are gone and flowers appear in little corners of the house. Greet the warm air even as you open the front door to the grit of urban life.
Move past the pain the world brings you.
The shelter of God's love is immediate to your heart. He will sing his song of deliverance over you when you're scared of what's coming or has been. Let your heart recite the words:
You are my hiding place. You always fill my heart with songs of deliverance. Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in you.
You have seen cruel things before—betrayal, deceit. You've wagered your heart on the wrong side of a bet . In the aftermath, you will be tempted to despair and wake up with eyes that have forgotten how to see beauty. You will be unkind to your heart and blame your own naivety for trusting so foolishly.
Do not shoulder this burden. Learn the lesson quickly and move ahead.
Time shows us that we will encounter many falls before triumph. Take it as the scenic route, and not as the "road to nowhere". You were made for the long game— this is only the warm up. Time has changed you. You stand a little more sure. You are more world-wise, but not without the youthful spark that makes you a dreamer. Throw your arms around that word—dreamer.
There is something in it for you. Invite yourself into that space. Move toward it like you are greeting an old friend. Close your eyes and refuse to doubt the beauty that is gifted to you. You don't need the opinion of others. You don't need the mirror. You don't need the praise of a stranger.
Forget some things; remember others. Forget that people are watching you. Forget that performance is the currency of the world. Forget the critical nature that wars against your dreams.
Remember hope. Indefinitely.
Sit in the morning light with the confidence that you are known even in the dark parts of your story. God has seen what you are, and loved you in that place, like a parent standing over the bed of their sleeping child.
He has seen you in your beautiful state of 'unaware', the most vulnerable place any of us can be. We trust there. We let go. We love there.
Sink into the "beautiful unaware"
That safe place in sleep, in love, or in the practice of our gifts—when we lose touch with everything but the present moment.
Take comfort in the way it gently invites you back to dream without the scrutiny of others. You need that space to survive. Notice this moment as if of there were nothing else left in the world.
Immanuel Kant says, "Look closely, the beautiful may be small."
This is a rule I've created for us. Especially you who are waiting for love where only heartbreak has appeared. The world deals in disproportionate amounts of pain, but you are wise. What is easiest is despair. Hope is for the strong. Choose it.
How would it feel if the good things in life surprised you, and the bad were the exception to the rule?
Start appreciating the unexpected delights and you will prevail over doubt to win your dreaming heart back. The small digs will chip away pieces of your heart, but don't waste the moment by creating a tally mark of all your wounds. Only keep score of the good.
Embrace the romance around you. It is a practice only you can create. You won't always feel like it, but all love needs is an invitation. Love never misses a good party.
How would it feel to take love at its word?
It would feel like coming home for good. Like pulling out your favorite picture album. Like slipping on your favorite dress. Pull your hope in tight and trust it, more than you're comfortable with, more than feels safe. It's ok if you get love wrong the first time, or the thousandth time.
Love is patient. Love is kind.
The heart's incredible resilience will rally to the call of love. No matter the hurt, it is our innate response to keep the door open to hope. Swing it wide and don't be afraid of what's coming. You were not made to fear.