Your dreams are actually standing in line, waiting to date you

Pssst. Hey you. The one with the sad eyes from crying too long over wasted years and crash landings in the form of a love you gave so willingly and got back in the mail with a depressing “return to sender” stamp.

You know what I’m referencing: breakups. A byword for pain that most of us pray to avoid for the rest of our days on earth.  I know how much this kind of pain hurts. I truly do. Getting over heartbreak is one of the hardest lessons life can teach, and unfortunately, most of us go through that process alone.

It is my fiercest belief that ‘alone’ is not the best way to get over a breakup. Disappointment can be a devastating force, twisting our perception of self, the future, and our beliefs about ever finding the love our soul craves.

But I’ve learned a few things along the way about breakups….

Breakups will tempt you to believe a lot of things that are not true about your beauty, strengths, exceptional qualities, and the things the world desperately needs you to share with it.

But with the antidote to heartbreak on your side, breakups will also reveal the very things that are most true about you! Your resilience, strength, creativity, and resourcefulness. So which one will it be? Truth or lies? Triumph or disappointment?

Each one of us gets to choose, and if you’re choosing what I think you are, it’s time to put up a fight and win this season of your life back from sadness, anger, frustration, and disappointment.

Because the truth is,  you were made for more than this.

The antidote to disappointment in heartbreak is using the time you have now; every ounce of it for something life-giving. Maybe for you it’s writing that fiction novel you’ve been dying to put to paper. Maybe it’s opening a flower shop for your creations or running a nonprofit or taking some money out of the bank to operate a burrito food cart down by the sea (this was my original post-college plan and I’m sad that I did not do it).

Take a master class in dance. Open your own yoga practice. Buy the nice camera so you can start a wedding photography business. Be “all in” and just go for it. One of the magical things about heartbreak is that it gives you a certain fearlessness, a sense that if this is rock bottom, it only goes up from here.

“All in” is not the language of dreamers. It’s the battle cry of a people who have nothing left to lose.

People who’ve had their hearts broken are a special kind of people.

In fact, they’re my favorite kind of people. They have been dealt a few bad cards, but most of them are still playing like they’re in the hot seat.

One of the best things I did after overcoming a monumentally depressing breakup, shared in glorious detail in my eBook, was starting my own business. I helped first-time authors develop their book manuscripts into finished products.

I became my own boss. It’s the reason the part-time jobs and the coffee slinging gigs were temporary. They weren’t standing in line to date me, only my dreams did that, patiently lingering, making lots of direct eye contact and nudging me toward risk and creativity until I finally said “enough!” and gave in.

Pursuing this dream was like going on a first date. I was hesitant to give the thumbs up or tell anyone about it because I was afraid it was too early. I wanted to stay in the “safe zone” when what I really needed was a kick in the pants.

Dream-chasing can be small, quiet, and almost unrecognizable to others, but when you find it, you know it. The truth is, heartbreak pushed me toward something I didn’t know I wanted.  It scares me to think I could have missed it if I was incapable of seeing past my own disappointment.

Now the real question for you is… what will you do with this time gifted to you? Maybe it didn’t come in the way you would have liked. In fact, I know it didn’t, but the beautiful part is, you have it now.

It’s your choice because your dreams are waiting to date you.

They like you so much that they are waking you up in the middle of the night just to remind you they are still there. They run through your mind in morning traffic. You dreams are devoted to you, committed, all in, because you are the only one who can make them come alive. They want you. They need you! Oh baby, oh baby. Respect if you got that reference without having to watch this clip :)

The ball is in your court. Pick it up and run with it. You can do this. I know you can, because you are stronger than you once imagined. Let the scars heal and reinforce what you already know.

You are worth pursuing with passionate romance. Your heart is a sacred thing to cherish and protect.

Your beauty is pure and your future is claimed by a four-letter word you may be less familiar with—hope. Give that word some time and space to work it's magic.

Ruminate. Pray. Let this second start be a fresh start. Let it change you into a woman you look back on when this time is over and say, "I am proud of her." I am proud of you when I think about the things this sacred time of chasing your dreams will show you. So get to work. Don't make me keep saying it! Take this time as an unexpected gift and let it pick you for the greatest adventure of all. All you need is the knowledge that you are already chosen.